Summing up a semester?

I have avoided writing a final blog post for weeks now. Writing a “final” entry feels so, well...final. It's almost as if I’m formally saying farewell to all the adventures I’ve experienced the past four months. But I can’t deny reality; I’m home now and it’s time to prepare for the next chapter in my life.

No words could ever do justice to all that I have learned, experienced and seen this past semester. Each day that I’m home, I realize more and more how much I have grown as a person, having lived in Kenya the past 4 months. My level of independence skyrocketed, as well as my self-confidence and eagerness to learn and experience new things. Certain things that I deemed so important in the past, simply seem trivial now. I’ve learned to appreciate the “small stuff,” like the change of seasons and reliable electricity.

I look back now, on my semester abroad, and can’t believe that it actually happened. Now that I’m back in the US, it doesn’t seem real that this time two months ago I was hiking up Mt. Kilimanjaro, after having just lived with members of a Maasai tribe for four days…what?! Who has the opportunity to actually do things like that…I am so blessed.

I realized that I never really addressed the outcome of my research. (My apologies!) The last month in Kenya was absolutely amazing. I spent the month visiting different primary and secondary schools around Nairobi and asking girls about issues that they face while menstruating. It’s such a HUGE issue; but since menstruation is considered a taboo subject in Kenya, it’s too often ignored. Girls shared heartbreaking stories about ridicule, abuse and embarrassment all because of menstruation. Stories of girls thinking that they were dying when they first got their period because they had never been taught menstrual health in school kept me up at night, as I revisited girl after girl in my head, pondering possible solutions to alleviate the issues they face. At the final school I visited, I asked the girls if they had any questions for me. Immediately, a 12 year old girl raised her hand. Addressing me she said, “Teacher, please come back. Please bring pads and help us stay in school.” Something needs to be done for school girls all over the world in similar situations, who are affected tremendously by menstruation, but can do little about it. I would love to share my final research (a 40 page paper) and more stories with anyone interested, so I’ll spare everyone else the specifics for now.

It’s difficult to sum up all that I have learned while abroad, as I have had so many different experiences..living with a host family, learning Swahili, visiting the coast, living in a Muslim village, spending a week in a (terrifying) Kenyan hospital, attending a Kenyan wedding, meeting the Obama family, seeing hippos in Lake Victoria, traveling by matatu all over the country, swimming in the Indian Ocean, experiencing Kenyan nightlife, traveling to Tanzania, meeting the black panthers, living with Maasai, climbing part of Mt. Kili, shopping in markets all over the city, sitting in Nairobi traffic for hours on end, living through a set of terrorist threats directed at foreigners, celebrating Thanksgiving in Nairobi, dealing with a crazy landlord, living in my own apartment…just to name a few.

I know that my time in Kenya will impact the course of my life, and all that I have learned will constantly be shaping the person that I am becoming each day. I wouldn’t change a moment of my past semester for anything, as all that has happened, both good and bad, made for the most remarkable 4 months. I don’t know what’s next for me, what I will be doing after graduation, or even what I will be doing this summer, but I do know that this experience will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Until next time-- Megan

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today the palace is doing it big. Our apartment volunteered to host Thanksgiving for all of our American Nairobi-dwelling friends. Each attendee is responsible for a different dish, so we have a full course planned (complete with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, green beans, apple crisp AND pumpkin pie.) My dish you ask? I was assigned the job of purchasing wine. My friends have so much faith in my cooking ability.

I must admit that this morning when I woke up I was somewhat homesick. It's a strange and unfamiliar feeling for me not to be with my family today. It's the first Thanksgiving in my entire life that I will celebrate away from the Hessler household. I will be sitting at a table with adults (if that's what you want to call ten 20 and 21 year old college juniors), rather than sitting at the "kids" table that Kristen, DJ, Daniel, Lauren and I share each year.

I realized though, a few hours later as I was sitting at Dormans, enjoying a cup of coffee and journaling about all the things in my life I am thankful for, that Thanksgiving means so much more to me here in Kenya than it has ever meant to me before, and because of this, I am extremely grateful. This semester, all things comfortable have been stripped away and I have been living in a "third-world" country, experiencing a foreign culture, away from all things familiar. Though difficult at times, being here has made extremely thankful for my life back home. A classic case of, "you don't know what you have until it's gone." Though my life is not really "gone" per say, and I'm coming back to the states in two weeks, back to the comfort and familiarity of home, I'm returning with a new perspective on my life and how blessed I really am.

As much as I wish I could be celebrating Thanksgiving with my family today, I'm grateful that I have this chance to reflect on all the things that I am truly thankful for. I thought I would share some of this list with y'all. There are so many things that I appreciate that I didn't even realize until they weren't here for me anymore this semester. Hope you enjoy :)

Things that I am thankful for:
-My amazing family who supports me in all that I do and loves me unconditionally
-My friends who encourage me to be the best person I can be
-The ability to attend UNC and receive an amazing college education
-The opportunity I was given this semester to experience a whole new way of life and culture
-"The palace" (our apartment during my month-long research) and the girls I live with
-My host mother, Mama Dorthy, who graciously opened up her home to me my first 2.5 months here
-Electricity, internet access and hot water
-Shower heads
-America
-Crosswalks and cars stopping for you
-Karol, my Kenyan friend who serves coffee at Dormans, who has always been kind and polite to me since day 1, despite Kenyan culture not encouraging waitresses to act this way
-Jesus
-Our gate guard, Gilbert, who keeps the bad guys out
-Buddy and Tessa, my puppies
-CLEAN AIR in America
-Effective trash collecting systems back home
-Southern hospitality
-Mom's cooking
-Fireplaces
-The changing of seasons
-ArtCaffe, my favorite coffee shop in Nairobi, that lets me post-up there and work all day
-Grace and Maragaret, the amazing women who worked as house helps for my host family

There are so many more things that I am thankful for that I have only just begun to realize this semester. The list could go on for pages, but I'll leave it be for now. (I need to start getting ready for our guests) I'm so grateful for each and every one of you reading this right now and I miss y'all SO much.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Enjoy your time with family and friends and remember that we all have so much to be thankful for!

Until next time-

Megan

Edit--here are some pictures from Thanksgiving!

 Proof that my roommates don't trust my cooking. Here's my contribution to dinner

 Our table!

 Roommates!

 Slicing the turkey...which was cooked upside down..oops

Getting ready to eat! Donna and Odoch came to dinner too!

Updates from Nairobi

I'm sorry for the lack of updates. Brooke made me promise to update this ASAP (here's your shout-out Brooke!) as I haven't posted since my research started.

The past week and a half I've been living in an apartment in Nairobi with 5 other (awesome) girls. It's been SO nice having electricity that doesn't cut out every hour, real showers (with hot water!) and ...wait for it...a WASHING MACHINE! (no more hand washing all my clothing) We talk about how spoiled we are here on a daily basis--having access to all these amenities we haven't had for 4 months. It makes me appreciate the little things at home I take for granted all the time. (It's going to be the craziest thing EVER when I can use a dryer back in the states)

I'm having a blast living with my friends-- they're all hilarious and so much fun to be around. Day 1 in our apartment we decided that we wanted to have family dinners each night, so each of us pick one night a week to cook and the 7th night we go out somewhere fun for dinner. Mom, you'd be so proud of me-- I'm finally learning to cook. All my friends here can't fathom that good ole Nancy is a cook, yet making pasta is struggle for me. For my first dinner I made spaghetti (with some help) and my second cooking night I made pancakes. (So maybe I'm not an expert yet...but I'm trying!) I'm determined to go all out for my final meal and try something a bit more difficult-- suggestions are definitely welcomed.

 Our first dinner as an apartment!

My research has been fascinating thus far. Last week, I conducted interviews almost every day with people working with initiatives to distribute sanitary protection to girls in Nairobi. Talking to them allowed me to gain a basic knowledge of the issues that girls in poverty-stricken areas face while on their period and provided some insight into their world. This week I'll be traveling to three different schools to distribute surveys related to menstruation management issues. I will also be leading multiple discussions with groups of 6-10 girls at each school, in hopes of learning about these issues more in depth.

The goal of my research is to determine the most sustainable method of sanitary protection for girls in poor areas of Nairobi. This idea stemmed from a study I discovered that revealed that Kenyan girls miss an average of 4.2 days of school each month due to their period. In an environment that already favors boys and pushes them further in the education system than girls, these days of missed school further impede the girls' success. Many NGOs and CBOs are just now beginning to realize that the taboo topic of menstruation that affects half the world's population is something worth looking into. However, it's critical to address each community differently, as cultural norms and perceptions shape the type of sanitary protection to which girls have access and use.

It's enlightening to live in an apartment where all 6 of us are conducting different types of research. Our dinner conversations are fascinating as we learn what the other five are finding. Sam's researching financial literacy for young girls; Caitlin is working with school feeding programs; Anna is learning about HIV/AIDS through different support groups in Nairobi; Ariana is assessing the level of autism awareness in Kenya and Alex is testing to see what percentage of the sexual education curriculum is actually implemented in public schools.

We are living in this apartment until December 2nd working on our ISPs (Independent Student Projects). After we finish these, we will spend a week on the coast (hopefully, plans might change though depending on the terrorist threat level) with the entire SIT group presenting our ISPs and enjoying our final days in Kenya. It's crazy that I'm going to be home in 4 weeks! This semester has FLOWN by. I'm so excited to see everyone back home but I'm not looking forward to leaving the friends I have made here (and the warm weather...)

I'll have more updates after I interview the girls this week and spend another fabulous week with my crazy apartment. Let me introduce them to you...just so you can imagine all the fun that is happening here.

 Sam, me, Alex, Anna, Caitlin and Ariana 

The whole motley crew 

That's all for now. Until next time!

Megan

I'm back! ....and alive!

Hello world, it's me, Megan. I'm back from Tanzania, alive and safe! This past week seemed to have been a great time to temporarily leave the country, as Al-Shaabab set off three bombs throughout the city (no worries though, I'm taking every precaution to keep safe) Kenya recently declared war against the Al-Shabaab terrorist militant group that they believed were responsible for the recent kidnappings of westerners along the coast, as well as other acts of violence over the past few years. In retaliation for entering Somalia, Al-Shabaab has threatened to bomb Nairobi, and wreak havoc throughout the city.

On a lighter note, I'm not living in city center, where the threats seem to be focused and I will be avoiding bars, clubs and busy areas as a safety precaution...but enough about that scary stuff..

Tanzania was an AMAZING week filled with adventure. I decided to go day by day just to let y'all know what all I had the opportunity to experience :)

Day 1- Sunday, October 23rd

We all met early Sunday morning, packed into a small van and headed for the border. 6 hours later we finally reached our destination, Arusha. We stated at this place called the UAACC (United African Alliance Community Center) which is a compound run by Pete and Charlotte O'Neal. Both were members of the Black Panther Party during the civil rights movement when Pete was charged with helping transport a gun across state lines. Wanted by the police, Pete (31 at the time) and Charlotte (only 19!) fled the country. They lived in Algeria for two years and then moved to Tanzania where they have been living ever since then. After dinner we watched a documentary about Pete (which was really interesting) and then sat around with him and Charlotte and asked them questions about their lives in exile. Pete, who was once an outspoken, feisty youth, now runs this vibrant community center which provides vocational classes, clean water and a children's home for the community. This now 70 some year old panther has definitely changed over the years. 

Day 2- Monday, October 24th

After breakfast we headed out to Maasai land, which was about 3 hours away from the UAACC. We arrived at the Maasai village, Engkarat, around noon where we were greeted by a host of about 20 village women singing for us. That afternoon we walked around the village and met our Maasai host for the next few days, Ngong Goy. He told us all about their culture, language and practices.

greeting the mamas

Later in the afternoon we visited different "bomas" (basically little neighborhoods of huts) and also collected firewood for the fire after dinner. Elders of the village came to the fire and sat around with us answering any questions we had about their lives. The most interesting, and also disturbing, thing I learned is that many women in the village still participate in female genital mutilation.

Day 3- Tuesday, October 25th

The day of the goat sacrifice.

Oh boy, I don't really even know how to describe this, but I will try. We all gathered different items around the community (firewood, medicine, goat poo) for the sacrifice and then met under this huge tree in the middle of the village. Tied to the tree was this adorable goat, who didn't have a care in the world...and certainly didn't realize his life was about to end.

The Maasai men asked for 3 volunteers and then held down the goat and suffocated it (this is actually a humane way of killing the animal..I don't even want to think about the inhumane ways used back home) Now, I'm not a vegetarian, but it was difficult to watch this animal die before my eyes. After they killed the goat, the men began to skin it (also difficult to watch) and took its organs out to boil and cook them over the fire (sorry for the details)

Elders, warriors and boys receive different parts of the goat to eat. The elders receive the best parts and it would be unacceptable for anyone but an elder to eat these parts. After dividing up the parts, the elders placed some of the goat's blood in a rib cage and invited us to drink it. 

At this point, I was trying to keep my breakfast down, but a few brave souls went for it. 

After the blood drinking (ugh) and the cooking of all the parts we had lunch (luckily not the goat) and then headed out to meet with the village mamas for some beading lessons. They told us about the meaning of each colored bead and then we all made bracelets and necklaces together. My mama was so sweet-- I thought that she was making jewelry for herself, but she ended up giving me all of her work in the end. 

Day 4- Wednesday, October 26th

We woke up early (per usual) and headed out to this remote village about 5 hours away from the Maasai village (quite the trek along unpaved roads). We split up into smaller groups and traveled by safari SUVs which was really fun. My car was me and 5 of my closest friends here so we had a blast traveling along this unpaved road to the village. We were told that we would be visiting one of the last hunter-gatherer societies in East Africa, but after arriving there, we all came to the conclusion that we were just a part of a big tourist scheme. It seemed like this was some sort of fake village set up to make money. We never got a clear answer, but it was still fun walking through the bush and seeing their "life." At the end of the visit the men taught us how to shoot arrows. I actually hit the target on my second try....I see a future in archery for me if all else fails after college.

our awesome safari car

That night we camped at a site a few hours away from Arusha. For the first time in 4 days were were able to shower which was SO nice. My legs were caked with dirt and dark brown dust from the week of traveling through the bush. 

Day 5- Thursday October 27th

SUCH a good day! We woke up early..duh...and headed to Ngorongoro Crater where we went on safari for the day. Even though I've been on safari before in Nakuru, this trip was completely different. The safari was actually in this crater. After paying the park fees, we descended 4,000 feet to start our safari. The morning was filled with your typical animals that are in abundance in the parks--zebras, gazelle, birds, buffalo--but after lunch I was SO excited as we were able to stop our car RIGHT next to a sleeping lion. At first I thought she was dead...I mean she was laying with her four paws up in the air. She looked like my dog, Tessa, who sleeps like this on the reg. But after a minute, the lion rolled over and I quickly realized that she was no where close to dead...she was very much alive. We were so close that I actually was concerned for our safety..but decided to ignore that concern and take in this once in a lifetime opportunity. She didn't seem phased by us and went about her business, stalking the zebra in the distance. 

The office is closing up soon, so I'm rushing ahead to finish this post! Friday we spent the day in Arusha where we visited the Tribunal for the Genocide in Rwanda and a mental health facility that is the first of its kind in northern Tanzania. Both visits were interesting, but no where near as exciting as Saturday, where we spent the day hiking up part of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I know, kind of lame that we were there and didn't climb the whole thing...but it was still SO amazing. It was absolutely beautiful, it seemed like we were hiking through a jungle. We ate lunch near a crater in the mountain and then headed back down to the base of the mountain. The whole climb took us about 6 hours and was very difficult but so rewarding. Driving home was such a blessing to, as we came across the most breathtaking view of Mt. Kili as the sun was setting.

Sunday morning we woke up and headed back to Nairobi, where I am staying until December 3rd. Tanzania was beautiful and I loved being able to see another country in East Africa. It was also a much needed break from the hustle of Nairobi.

Tomorrow morning I move into an (AWESOME) apartment with five best friends. We will be living there for the month as we each work on our own research projects. I'm SO excited to have my own space and to be living with these girls. I'm also am pumped about starting my research. I'm sure that I'll have lots of fun stories to share throughout the next month. Here's a little preview of what my apartment will be like... ridiculousness.

Sorry to rush the entry..I just wanted to make sure I posted this before I turn off my computer for the evening.  I miss everyone back home a ton! It's hard to believe that in a little over a month I will be headed back to the states. This semester has flown by.

More updates to come soon!

Until next time--

Megan

And I'm off!

Tomorrow morning (bright and early) I'm off to Tanzania for the week! We're first staying with Pete and Charlotte O'Neal for the night and have the opportunity to hear about their life in exile (not too sure what to expect...but I'm excited!) Pete has a wikipedia page about him...check it out! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_O'Neal

After that we'll be living with a Maasai tribe for a few days and then finishing up our week by climbing (part of) Mt. Kilimnajaro! 

Every day I ask myself... "am I really getting academic credit for this program??" The answer is yes and I can never believe it. SIT is huge on "experiential learning" of which I'm now a HUGE fan. Though I'm not learning too much from books this semester, my experiences are invaluable and I could never learn this much in a classroom alone. I'm learning to appreciate the small things every day, like the man who owns the car wash by my house and power washed my shoes, pants and arms when I stepped in a huge puddle of pud (up to my knees) or the guy who comes to look through our trash outside our gate for some spare food and then shares some of it with the monkeys that follow him around. It was really difficult for a while being in a different country, trying to adjust to life and knowing no one from back home. I enjoyed it, but it was hard. I'm now at such a great point though where I feel like I've finally adjusted to life here and I love it so so SO much. Thinking about leaving in a little over a month actually makes me so sad now. I'm excited to see everyone back home, but my friendships here are growing each day and I can't imagine leaving these people that I love so much.

Sorry to get all sentimental...needless to say I'm loving this semester and I'm sure I'll love it even more after my "educational tour" (nice wording SIT) to Tanzania. 

I'll update when I return back to Nairobi. Let's hope I can stay out of the hospital this trip! (Fingers crossed.)

Until next time!

Megan

P.S. Here's a little photo update (just to keep things interesting!)...last night we went out to this really fun restaurant/bar. My closest friends Grace, Alex and Sam came over before the get ready! It was such a fun night!

 this is my best friend in my program, Sam..and me

Grace, Sam, Alex and me!

What a great reminder of why I fell in love with Kenya

This past weekend was reserved for "ISP Prep" where we had four days to travel to the site where we are doing our month-long research project and set everything up for November. Since me and a few friends are staying in Nairobi, we decided to travel during our prep days to Kisumu, a city in the Western Province.

My good friend Sam's host mother grew up in a small village called Siaya, about an hour outside of Kisumu, so she offered to take us around her old stomping grounds.

Saturday morning we left around 5 am and made the 7 hour trek out to the village. Her village prides itself in being the home of the Obama's family. Obama's grandmother lived in this small town . Rose, Sam's host mother, took us to Obama's family's home and after verifying our American citizenship with the guards (except for Sam who is Dutch..which confused them a lot) we were allowed into the compound. Obama's blood grandmother (the mother of his father) died some years ago, but lucky for us, she was a part of a polygamous family and we got to meet the other wife of Obama's grandfather. People just call this woman Obama's grandmother, so we went with it. Relations in the Luo tribe, along with most other Kenyan tribes aren't rigid and someone's friend could be considered her sister, aunt or child...it gets confusing sometimes.

Anyways, this grandmother, Sarah Obama, was a riot. She was at a fundraiser when we arrived (apparently she's a pretty popular lady now) but rolled up to her house about two hours later with a TON of people. She was decked out in full tribal attire (see picture below) and invited us to dance with her as soon as she got there. Her friends thought we were hilarious as we quickly proved the common stereotype, that white girls can't dance.

We stayed with Rose's family Saturday night in the same village as Sarah Obama and left the next morning to head into Kisumu. The city is absolutely gorgeous, as it sits right on Lake Victoria. We ate lunch at this wonderful little restaurant next to the biggest Nakumatt (Kenya's Wal-Mart) in Kenya. The restaurant, Mon Ami, is known for serving "ex-pat western food." Normally I'm all for the Kenyan dishes, but after some time I just need some pizza. Needless to say, lunch was phenomenal.

After lunch, we headed to a few lookout points on Lake Victoria, and spent a couple hours admiring the beauty of the lake. Lake Victoria is the source of the Nile as well as the 2nd largest freshwater lake in the world (behind Lake Superior) At our second lookout point, a Kenyan boat driver came up to us and asked if we wanted to go on a "hippo-seeing tour." Two hundred shillings down ($2) and 5 minutes later we were questioning our guide's legitimacy, but were soon proven wrong as 3 hippos appeared right next to our boat. I have only seen a hippo in the zoo, and those hippos are TINY compared to the ones we saw in the water. I was amazed by how large they were. Apparently hippos are also extremely dangerous which was comforting to know as these hippos appeared only a few yards from our boat. Regardless, the sight of these kiboko was wonderful--they were such beautiful animals. Two dollars well spent.

We headed back to shore just as the sun was setting over Lake Victoria, which was a breath taking sight. Sunsets in general are among my favorite things in the world, but add in a beautiful lake, my best friends in the program and trolling along in a makeshift wooden boat, and the sunset was one of the best I've ever experienced. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Sunday night was spent at another one of Mama Rose's relatives in Kisumu and Monday morning we woke up early to visit the national museum in Kisumu, which was a "must see" according to Lonely Planet. We quickly discovered that Lonely Planet was exaggerating quite a bit, as the museum had next to no exhibits. We were still holding out hope for the alleged "snake pit" but were disappointed when the only snake in this pit was a green garden snake. We still made the most of it though, keeping ourselves entertained with the painted murals of village life.

After the museum, we decided it was time to head back to Nairobi, but were discouraged when, an hour into our drive, the road we had to take was under construction and were forced make a 3 hour detour along the bumpiest road I've ever experienced. This 3 hour detour ended up being SUCH a blessing in disguise because it took us on a "scenic route" of Kenya. We were going so slow that I could stick my head out the window and be comfortable, so I literally just sat with my head out the window of our little bus for 3 hours straight trying to soak in the beauty of western Kenya. We drove through the tea district which was unlike anything I've ever seen. Tea fields lined the roads for miles, with a sea of green stretching as far as my eyes could see. After the tea fields, we descended down this huge mountain for a few miles, which was stunning. Again, I can't even describe how beautiful it was, so I'll just let y'all enjoy the pictures from my ride.

I'm now back in Nairobi, feeling refreshed and ready to start our short week of class. Today was another day of ISP prep, so I spent it hanging out with my friends who are already back in Nairobi. We went to our favorite coffee shop and attempted to do some work, but ended up just messing around the whole day, uploading pictures from the weekend, searching for summer internships and downloading new music that we are missing out on in the US. 

I also spent some time today trying to figure out what to do with my next month. We're leaving for Tanzania on Sunday and when we return ISP starts, and all of my projects have fallen through so far. I originally wanted to work with women on a rural island looking at their access to prenatal care. When I got sick and spent a week in their nearest hospital (the week from hell) I threw out that idea. Then I thought I wanted to work with a mobile medical clinic working with street children in Nairobi. I visited their office and it turns out they don't exist anymore. Last week I was set on working with this NGO to study economic empowerment of women from war-torn areas all over East Africa. I still haven't heard back from them yet though and was told today by my academic directors that I need to start pursuing plan B (which in my case is more like plan D)

I'm actually okay with all these plans falling through though because I found another topic that I think would be fascinating to look into. I was told this weekend that girls in rural areas as well as girls in the slums in Kenya often miss up to a week of school every month because of their period. Because sanitary pads are too expensive, girls have to resort to makeshift forms of pads like dirty cloths, and have to miss school because they can't control their periods. Because menstruation is a taboo subject of sorts in Kenya, with women and men often feeling uncomfortable talking about this issue that can affect half their population, this issue of menstruation affecting education is often ignored. Girls miss up to half a month of school every term, which can significantly impair their ability to learn and move forward with their education. Pair this with a country that already favors boys, and these girls face serious barriers when trying to move forward with their schooling. I haven't decided what exactly I want to look at regarding education and menstruation and I'm waiting to hear back from multiple people about this topic, but I think that anything related would be fascinating. 

Besides deciding on an ISP topic, all is calm here in Nairobi. Everyone is getting really excited to head to Tanzania on Sunday, which I'm sure will be an amazing week.

I'll post some more updates before I leave!

Until next time-

Megan

Tough Lessons

Every day my host sister cries at dinner. Something is always wrong. “I hate this food” “My stomach hurts” “I’m tired” “I want tea”…the complaints never end. Every night I grind my teeth and do my best to not scream out every thought that is swarming through my head. I sit through dinner so angry that this 7 year old girl is screaming and yelling about having to eat the meal prepared for her when 3 minutes down the road is the biggest slum in Africa where the food that my sister refuses to eat every night is the portion that an entire family of ten will receive for one day of eating, if they are even that lucky.

I sit there so angry, in utter disbelief that this girl, who has a roof over her head, 3 huge meals a day and a family who is healthy and living, can think of so many things to complain and cry about every single day. A week ago I started counting how many days she would go without having a nightly fit…and a week later my count hasn’t even reached one day.

I hate the feeling of anger. I hate it so much. What I hate even more though is that this feeling of anger is felt because of a seven year old girl. How can I be angry at a child?

Tonight when her daily fit began, I tried so hard not to get mad. But after she was still crying 20 minutes later, I couldn’t take it anymore. Grace looked at her and said, “You know what? There are millions of people in this city who are lucky to have one meal a day and you are screaming because you actually have food on your plate. Do you want me to take you down to Kibera so you can give this food you refuse to eat to those children? They will think you are the greatest thing ever for giving them your portion of food. They will also not understand why someone would ever give up their meal, when the next meal is never guaranteed.”

Something different also happened tonight. When Grace said that to my sister, and my sister stopped crying a bit, perhaps processing what was just said to her, I began to think about Grace’s words as well.

What makes me so much different than this little girl? Just because I live in another country, doesn’t make those people 3 minutes down the road living in extreme poverty any less real. How many times have I complained about trivial things that, in comparison to the way those in poverty live, makes me look like a complete fool. How many times have I complained about a meal I didn’t want to eat, an outfit I didn’t like or a family member or friend I was annoyed by? Why don’t I use the same judgment I’ve been so quick to pour out on this girl and apply it to my own life? How foolish and selfish am I?

How can I ever complain about the small things that don’t matter at all when I am so incredibly blessed? I have an amazing family, supportive friends, and a home to go back to. I can honestly never recall a time where I have wondered if I would go to bed hungry. I’ve been financially supported by my parents my whole life, never wondering if I would be left alone to handle things if disaster were to strike.

I realized tonight that my judgment is way out of line and what I really need is to check myself. Just because I grew up somewhere else, doesn’t make my complaining or my concern for trivial matters any less selfish, any less ridiculous.

I need to keep this in mind as I proceed on with my life, not only for the remainder of my semester here, but also for my life when I go back home. It’s easy now to recognize how uncalled for complaints and concerns may be when I’m surrounded by absolute poverty on a daily basis, but it’s going to be a lot easier to forget about the way so many people in this world live when I’m back in my comfort bubble of Chapel Hill that I love so much. I need to constantly be checking myself and not stressing over the small stuff.

Sorry that this wasn’t much of a “life update,” but I’ve found writing to be very therapeutic during rough days here and wanted to post about the lessons I’ve been learning in hopes of really making sure that I’m following my own advice as I move forward from here.

I’ll update soon about exciting things going on in my life (and there are a ton!) I miss everyone so much!

Until next time--

Megan